compassion essay

 Not doing something right? .. You are still not always in the wrong. 

It is the one mysterious thing that links everyone together and helps everyone understand each other despite their social, economic, or religious backgrounds. Compassion is the capacity within each of us that makes it possible for suffering that is not our own or of our concern, but will affect us as though it were. There are so many ways to describe the feelings that can be linked with compassion. In some way, shape or form, we have all given or received compassion, and it is important to always be compassionate no matter what the circumstance. I think it is vital to everyone that they live compassionately because it will also tune them into how others feel and they can all communicate and understand each other better. In addition to the statement that everyone should always be compassionate, I feel as though it is not wrong to not act compassionately sometimes. In fact, in some points of people's lives, it is uncontrollable for them to not feel compassionate. Being compassionate is a human instinct, and in that I feel as though if someone is not compassionate it is absolutely acceptable based on where they are in their lives in that point of time.

Compassion is the hallmark of the soul, and it does not become practical in the survival of the fittest until a person has reached the highest levels of Maslow's hierarchy of needs; self-actualization. In general, we do not always feel the need to extend our compassion to others, in most cases because we do not think they deserve it, or because we do not feel as though we are able to afford to help in any way possible. I think everyone deserves compassion, and that no one should be the judge to whether the other person actually deserve it or not. It becomes a matter of if the person is in the state of mind in which they can be compassionate.

Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs explains when a person is at the level to which they may usually act compassionately. It is based upon several levels of needs in which a person lives by instinctively. The first level would be to live with physiological needs, which includes "breathing, food, water, sex, homeostasis, and excretion." (Kenrick). The next level would be safety in which we seek security of our "body, employment, resources, morality, family, health and property." (Kenrick). Then is the need of love and belonging through family, friendship and sexual intimacy, followed by esteem which entails the need of self-esteem, confidence, achievement, and respect. Lastly is self-actualization; the need of "morality, creativity, spontaneity, problem solving, lack of prejudice and acceptance of facts." (Kenrick). With the knowledge of Maslow's theory I think it should be simple to understand that if we are lacking something very essential in our needs, we aren't always going to find it in ourselves to be compassionate for others, even after receiving compassion. For example, on a day to day basis when I see a homeless person I am always indecisive to whether or not I can feel or act compassion towards them. I know that I should always be compassionate, but as a human being, I am not always perfect in my way of thinking or through my actions. I try and be compassionate, but sometimes when I see the homeless person asking for money my first instinct is not always to reach into my pocket and give them some of my cash. When it comes to those times where I do not reach in my pocket, it is probably because I do not feel financially stable, which is the physiological level for me still needing the money for food, and in that lack a sense of my needs of self-actualization. It is my instinct to take care of me first before others in that split second where I decide if I am going to act compassionately or not.

Compassion is being connected with someone else, not always to suffer, but to suspend all judgments and live at that instant with them and be in sync with their emotions. Compassion can also mean to be happy with someone as they won a contest, achieved a goal or tell you about something they have recovered from. When you have compassion for someone, it may also mean that you take action. Some people just want to know that they are not alone in what they are feeling and do not want anything or for anyone to take action for them. When a reflex reaction causes us to help a stranger, with no motivation other than that person is in need, our compassion is in action. When we are at the height of the self-actualization, it would be against ourselves to not want to be involved, help and or be connected with someone. This is heightened when we have been in similar situations ourselves.

Having compassion is linked with understanding someone, which has a lot to do with if we have ever been in the same situation as the person wanting compassion. Sometimes we will go beyond our own means just because we identify with the person and what they are going through; it adds to the sense of connectedness. As a server, when I dine at a restaurant or get service from someone that deals with customer service, I always leave a more than generous tip. Leaving a tip is usually out of gratitude, but really I see myself as having compassion for them. I know and understand what they go through in their job and feel like I identify with them on an emotional level, where I feel what they are feeling at that time and then go through with the act of leaving a tip. However, it is not always wrong for other people to not have compassion for these servers. They do not know that compassion is always needed, so it would not have been their fault for not showing the compassion in the first place or in this case of leaving the server a tip.

Lack of compassion could be also caused by ignorance, which would not put you in the wrong for not acting compassionately. I think it is usual to see children not always show compassion. They are not always aware of everything in life, and cannot identify with everyone to be on the same emotional level as the ones surrounding them. This is why an adult is more likely to be seen acting compassionate, because in the time of having more experience you are more socially aware of your surroundings and can identify with others needs.

In knowing how incredible the dynamics of compassion are, it sometimes seems impossible to understand why some do not live life with compassion all the time. Yet, it is not wrong to not feel or act compassionately, it is merely human nature. We cannot fully be compassionate if we are not at the level in Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs of self-actualization. Being compassionate is like an instant reflex; there is no pushing a person into compassion if they do not feel it instinctively. Contrary to compassion being about setting aside judgment and social, economic and religious barriers, sometimes having the same background as someone and understanding them makes it a lot easier to be compassionate and we then can lack compassion if we do not understand others. If someone cannot be understood or identified with it is not any one's fault for the lack of compassion, it is mere ignorance. It is just like a baby not understanding the word stop when they are crying for food; they have to be taught the word to understand the meaning. In some cases the meaning of compassion needs to be taught and or reminded of. So, for those of us who frown upon the lack of people feeling and acting compassionately, have compassion for them, not everyone is perfect. 

Bibliography

Kenrick, D. (2010, May 19). Rebuilding Maslow’s pyramid on an evolutionary foundation. Psychology Today: Health, Help, Happiness + Find a Therapist. Retrieved July 16, 2010, from http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/sex-murder-and-the-meaning-life/201005/rebuilding-maslow-s-pyramid-evolutionary-foundation

I feel as though compassion is a very questionable subject. Is compassion about actually helping someone or just a feeling? In this case, I do more of the feeling part, yet I feel better about myself and the other person if I do the action. For example, I see a homeless person on the side of the road.. do I feel compassion for them? sure, of course I do. BUT am I actually going to give them money when they ask for it.. not exactly. If I have a lot of money at the time or I am in a really good mood I will give them money, but if I am not feeling financially stable or I am in a bad mood I usually will not gift the money. I feel as though my actions, or lack there of, are due to some major components of Marslow's Heirchy of Needs.

Compassion is the hallmark of the soul, and it does not become practical in the survival of the fittest until a person has reached the highest levels of Marslow's hierarchy of needs; self-actualization. In general, we do not always feel the need to extend our compassion to others, in most cases because we do not think they deserve it. I feel as though everyone deserves compassion, and that no one should be the judge to whether the other person actually deserve it or not. It then becomes a matter to whether or not someone goes the extra mile to act compassionately, even when they really do think the other deserves it. Sure, if everyone helped each other out and made sure everyone was okay then the world would turn a little easier. The reality of the matter is people will always make sure to take care of themselves first. When it comes to the times where I do not reach into my pocket to give a homeless person a couple of dollars, it is a matter of me not feeling financially stable; maybe because I feel as though the amount of money I have determines how much food I will eat that week and what bills will be payed so it is human instinct to take care of me first. No, I cannot go around giving people money left and right, but it wouldn't break my bank to give one person I encountered in the day some extra cash.